Whom shall I save? An analysis of how I think about my donations
Today, after finishing my work, I was browsing Facebook. One of the post on my wall was sponsored by Ketto. It was an appeal to donate money for treatment of a visually impaired boy who has become bed-ridden and his father has sold everything to save him. With nothing left to sell, he appealed on Ketto seeking donations for medical treatment of his son.
This triggered a thought in my mind. I regularly see such posts seeking donations for medical treatment and I donate to some and not to others.
I have been a regular donor on Ketto, Impact Guru, and the likes. Most of the times, I donate 500Rs. to a campaign, but I have also donated upto Rs. 2000 for a single campaign.
I donate multiple times a month. Yet, there are other posts that receive no donation from my side. I was wondering what drives my decision to donate to one person and not for other, and donate differential amounts to different campaigns.
I think the differential amount question is more straightforward. For sure, I have limitations. I do not have unlimited money to donate. In fact, I do not even have a fixed kitty that I donate every month. I think I mostly donate 500Rs. so that I can I can help more people. I don’t want to give a lot to one person and nothing to anyone else. I also believe that others will donate and these individuals will be able to collect the requisite amounts (they always have been able to do so except 1–2 cases where I donated again). I do donate more if high treatment expenses are involved or when the person is crucial for whole family’s well-being (more on this later).
The question about which campaign to donate to and which one to leave is more tricky. Most of the posts on such platforms are about saving children, right from premature babies to teenagers. I have never donated for premature babies, especially if they were born after years of efforts. Probably, it is because I have been unable to bring myself to understand this extreme longing for a child when one always can adopt children. That will be good for both parties but people still keep on trying to conceive, sometimes for decades.
I have donated for newborn children with had some medical problem at or soon after birth. I remember some cases where I contributed for operation of children born with a hole in their hearts that could be repaired with surgery. I think I donated to them for two reasons: one, my own son was born with a similar condition and two, because I know that such children can easily live a healthy life after such surgery.
I have never donated for a child who is born with multiple complications. This decision, I think, arises from my belief that such children, even if saved, may not live a healthy life due to multiple complications. I believe that we should not treat all children just because doctors say they can treat them. I have seen some cases where life gets saved and the child/person is surviving but cannot eat, stand, walk properly. It is painful for the person, as well as the family.
In rare cases, they may get completely healthy but the probabilities are too low and we end up destroying their (and our own) life by clinging to life when letting go would have been better for all.
I have donated more for grown up children or adults than for newborns. In case of grown up children, I think it is because I see the family of these children losing more compared to a newborn. After all, over years, parents develop a very strong bond with children and so do siblings. Here also, I do weigh this option whether the treatment will lead to a healthy life, or if the situation involves too many complications to leave a healthy life less probable.
For adults, I think I have donated more when the patient has young children or is sole bread earner of the family compared to when the patient is unmarried and has no dependents.
Oftentimes, my actions leave me perplexed. Is it right to think in the way I do? Is it moral to help save a teenager and not help a premature baby born with complications? These thoughts are sometimes troubling, but I also realize that there is only so much that I can do with my limited resources. And I do believe that there are other people out there to help others whom I could not help. It is with these dilemmas and hopes that I donate.